Baby, it's hot outside

It's 103 degrees at our house today, according to Mom. It's so hot that even Rufus doesn't want to go outside! He loves the heat. Me, not so much. So we're just hanging out this afternoon.

Mom took a nap on the couch while Rufus and I worked on our chewies. Rufus has a bad habit of trying to trick me out of my chewie - they're always better when someone else has done all the work, I guess! Anyway, I got up on the couch to keep him away and found the perfect place to wedge my chewie in so I could work on it. Right between Mom's legs! Yeah, she didn't like that too much, something about me biting important things. Sheesh.

Stay cool!

It's all about the angle

When you're chewing on a yummy bone, it's all about the angle of approach. Especially when you have no legs to speak of.

What the hell? Amateur.

Big helpers

Oh, sorry. Were you looking for me?

My brother Rufus and I have been really busy.

First, we helped Mom clean out her closet. After all the embarrassing pictures we've been posting of each other, she absolutely forbid me to post pictures of her closet. All I can say is that it was a treasure trove of all kinds of things that were wonderful to drag out and chew on. By the time she finished, Mom was too tired from chasing me to get her stuff back to fix dinner, so Dad got us a pizza. I don't know what pizza is, but it smelled really, really good.

After that, Dad took us outside. He was doing something to our obstacle course wall out in the yard. Rufus and I thought it would be fun to help out.

Aren't we handsome?

Oh look! There's Dad!

Let's go see if we can help, pipsqueak.

Hmm. I don't think Dad knows what he's doing.

Ooh, something shiny! Look, Rufus!

Jackpot!

Suhweet! Dad's stash of landscaping fabric.

Let's get it out. Or rather, why don't you get it out, pipsqueak. Dad might need that.

Unfortunately, Dad intervened and said he didn't really need the landscaping fabric. He was using some kind of glue or something to fix our walls.

Then he took a break. And we thought he looked like he might enjoy some company.

And he did. Mission accomplished!

Revenge is sweet

Remember how Rufus stole my toy?

I mean seriously, look at this thing. Nas-ty! Why in the world would I want anything to do with that gross thing?

But then this morning, Mom asked me if I'd had anything to do with Rufus' toy getting messed up.

Huh? Who, me?

Oh my, how barbaric! Who would do such a terrible thing?

Now, if you'll excuse me...I have some other home improvements projects to work on. Thanks.

Bear Grylls ain't got nothing on me

Ever since I was a wee sprite, I've been working on one of the essential parts of being an International Man of Mystery...the art of survival skills.

This was one of my earlier attempts. See how clever I am, pretending to bite the branches of that tree? In reality, I'm discerning if the tree is edible in case I'm ever stuck in a forest without my Blue puppy food. Bear Grylls, eat your heart out.

In the next example, you think you see a cute puppy snuggled up next to one of his Mom's shoes, right?

Wrong! It's me, proving that I can sleep in even the most treacherous conditions, like using my Mom's stinky shoe as a pillow.

Dealing with predators is also an essential skill.

Not naming names or anything. Ahem.

Forbidden love

Someone has stolen a toy that my Mom specifically bought for me.

The main suspect: Rufus, a.k.a The Woofenheimer

Let's set the scene, shall we?

First, he waits until I'm distracted, which rarely happens.

Ooh, something shiny!

Then, he moves in on the toy. Slowly but surely, he stalks his prey.

Wow, look what I found! Eh, it's just a baby toy though.

Then he pretends to remove the "dangerous" item for my protection. Riiiight.

I'm just gonna move this over here, out of the way. It'll be all right, Nick. I'll save you!

Then, when no one is looking, the love affair begins.

Where have you been all my life?

Oh crap! Here comes the pipsqueak again.

Mooooooooooom! Rufus stole my toy!

And therefore, ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case.

You can't prove anything, runt. And I refuse to be ashamed of my forbidden love.

Who, me?

Um, Mom? I don't think you're going to be very happy about this. Nick's been a little...busy....

Dude! You are sooo busted! *heh heh heh*

Who, me? I didn't do anything.

Nothing at all.

Look here - unless you capture me on film with some evidence, I'm innocent I tell you!

What? This piece of posterboard on my nose? It proves nothing!

Meet my big brother

This is my big brother, Rufus.

Rufus is eleven years old. His birthday is Christmas Eve! His real name is Gorthleck Gwilliam, which you can see why we don't call him that. He flew on a big airplane from England when he was just a little bit older than me! Mom and Dad drove up to Maryland to meet him and brought him home a few weeks later.

Rufus wasn't really happy when I came to live at our house. He kind of got mad when I tried to eat all of his crumbs under the kitchen table and sleep on his bed. He also didn't like sharing Mom and Dad with me too much.

You could say that he's a little bit cranky. But I don't say it too loud because his teeth are way bigger than mine.

I think he likes me though, because slowly but surely he is getting a little closer to me every day. Usually when he pushes me out of the way to eat my food out of my bowl.

I'm working on him, though. He actually kissed me the other day! Either that or he was trying to figure out if I would make a good snack.